Happiness

What is Happiness?

Wise people will tell you - this is something different for everyone. And they will be right.

I would like to remind you about Peter Dunov's story about the caterpillar.

Sometimes and often your future might depend on a caterpillar. This caterpillar has been caught by a spider and you felt sorry for it and you set it free. And ever since, everything goes smoothly for you. As it spoke to God: “Dear God, since he set me free from a big misery, pay him off”. And sometimes, you take it seriously and you step over the caterpillar and you smash it. And since this day on, everything goes for the worse. You walk on the Earth and say: “A caterpillar?” – God made it, stop by it, say hello, so when you look at it, feel good for it. Make its way easier. You are the big brother, and it is the small brother. Greet it and continue on your way. If all humans were like this, what would the world be?

In Bulgarian we say 'BlagoDaria', when we want to say 'Thank you'. Blagodaria consists of 2 words - 'blago' and 'daria'.

'Blago' means something which provides positively towards you.

'Daria' means to give someone a gift.

To have a home, caring and loving people in your life, a new car, pair of fancy shoes... so many things could be mentioned as 'blago'. For me the happiness consists of a dream or a wish, which manifest in the material world. The feeling when one gets the desired object, is for me happiness. Happiness indeed could be so many things.

My son, 7 yo, enjoys, when we buy him a new toy or when we play with his airplanes or cars as he likes us to play with him. He is very happy to advise us what to do during our games. But he becomes extremely unhappy, when we say "No" to his wishes. He thinks we don't love him enough and that's why we say no. And the drama and pain could continue until forever, because he is not unhappy for the toy or for the game, but he gets upset because he didn't get what he wanted. He said: 'I want it, because I want it'. Luckily, talking about desires makes the situation better. As Dolto advises -

it is not needed to buy every single toy your child desires, but to talk about the desire, makes the child receiving love.

So after a short discussion he calms down.

Ironically, grown ups are not too different. They also think they are not loved enough, if their desires are not being 100% fulfilled. Luckily, as grown ups, we could see ourselves from another angle and not fall in drama for every single unfulfilled desire.

Another dramatic example with the happiness is, if one has the new shoes and is happy about them, other might think this is superficial or materialistic.

The feeling of happiness could be underrated subjectively and also subjectively, the happiness could stop being happiness. We could start the dilemma - I got what I wanted, but why am I not happy?